Fear Factor Part 1: The Fear of Failure

My last post focused on not allowing fear to trap your dreams. Today I’m exploring one of the biggest fears people face—the fear of failure. Ask yourself how many things you’d try if you knew you could not fail. Isn’t the thought alone liberating? Now think about how many things you haven’t tried because you knew you could fail. If you wrote down a list for each of the things I asked you to think about, they’d probably mirror one another.

 

For years I said that I was afraid of failure. I wore it as a badge and it drove me to be pretty ambitious when it came to areas like education, home ownership and corporate achievement.  That fear of failure was what motivated me to always pursue more…  or so I thought.

 

Hindsight is a wonderful teacher, even if its timing is lacking. Hindsight has shown me that while I thought fear was my motivator, it was actually a deterrent to my dreams. While I had focused on certain levels of success, there were other would-be goals that I completely avoided. Why? Because if I didn’t venture into unknown territory, there was no way I could fail. What I did not realize was the one thing that mattered:  If you fear failure, you’ve already failed.

 

Yep. I had been spending so much time on reaching certain goals, that I failed to set goals around other things that really mattered to me. Despite my efforts, I still stared fear in the face, although I had done everything I could to dodge it.

 

So often fear of failure manifests itself in over-cautious behavior, perfectionism and even self sabotage. It results from issues like pain of rejection, lack of self-confidence and feelings of inadequacy.

 

As you think about fear, consider these questions:

 

·         Have you ever been presented with an opportunity and shied away from it because you didn’t think you were qualified?

·         Do you remember concentrating so hard on getting a project just right, that you missed the deadline to turn it in?

·         Did you let a potential partnership pass because you were too lazy to follow up?

·         Did you write off a great idea as a daydream because you had no idea where to start on fulfilling it?

·         Did you find out a “virtual mentor”—the kind you follow in cyberspace because they’re doing what you want to do so you—was coming to town, but you made no effort to attend the event because you figured face time was not an option?

 

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I’m sorry to say that you too have succumbed to the fear of failure. Join me as we enter the Realization Room. I would say there’s plenty of room, but that’s not true. It’s crowded in here because we are far from alone. While we’re here, I invite you to do something drastic and redefine failure. Instead of seeing it as a devastating end point, let’s think of it as a growth opportunity. Instead of blowing off that lofty idea, put some research into it, break it down step by step and determine if any part of it is doable.

 

In my commitment to redefining failure, I’m going to do something that I thought was rather silly in the past. My practical nature didn’t really think twice about doing something like getting a vision board. Then I remembered reading this scripture: “Then the LORD answered me, "Write the vision. Make it clear on tablets so that anyone can read it quickly.” (Habakkuk 2:2). After years of having several writing goals that have not seen their full potential, I figure there is no better time than the present to try something new. I’m learning to listen to that voice deep inside that says, “Just try it.”” And try I will. No matter what happens, I won’t have to look back in 20 years and ask, “What if?”

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