My last post focused on not
allowing fear to trap your dreams. Today I’m exploring one of the biggest fears
people face—the fear of failure. Ask yourself how many things you’d try if you
knew you could not fail. Isn’t the thought alone liberating? Now think about
how many things you haven’t tried because you knew you could fail. If you wrote down a list for each of the things I asked
you to think about, they’d probably mirror one another.
For years I said that I was
afraid of failure. I wore it as a badge and it drove me to be pretty ambitious
when it came to areas like education, home ownership and corporate achievement.
That fear of failure was what motivated me
to always pursue more… or so I thought.
Hindsight is a wonderful
teacher, even if its timing is lacking. Hindsight has shown me that while I thought
fear was my motivator, it was actually a deterrent to my dreams. While I had focused
on certain levels of success, there were other would-be goals that I completely
avoided. Why? Because if I didn’t venture into unknown territory, there was no way
I could fail. What I did not realize was the one thing that mattered: If you
fear failure, you’ve already failed.
Yep. I had been spending so
much time on reaching certain goals, that I failed to set goals around other
things that really mattered to me. Despite my efforts, I still stared fear in
the face, although I had done everything I could to dodge it.
So often fear of failure
manifests itself in over-cautious behavior, perfectionism and even self
sabotage. It results from issues like pain of rejection, lack of self-confidence
and feelings of inadequacy.
As you think about fear, consider
these questions:
·
Have
you ever been presented with an opportunity and shied away from it because you didn’t
think you were qualified?
·
Do
you remember concentrating so hard on getting a project just right, that you
missed the deadline to turn it in?
·
Did
you let a potential partnership pass because you were too lazy to follow up?
·
Did you
write off a great idea as a daydream because you had no idea where to start on
fulfilling it?
·
Did you
find out a “virtual mentor”—the kind you follow in cyberspace because they’re
doing what you want to do so you—was coming to town, but you made no effort to
attend the event because you figured face time was not an option?
If you answered yes to any
of these questions, then I’m sorry to say that you too have succumbed to the
fear of failure. Join me as we enter the Realization Room. I would say there’s
plenty of room, but that’s not true. It’s crowded in here because we are far
from alone. While we’re here, I invite you to do something drastic and redefine
failure. Instead of seeing it as a devastating end point, let’s think of it as
a growth opportunity. Instead of blowing off that lofty idea, put some research
into it, break it down step by step and determine if any part of it is doable.
In my commitment to
redefining failure, I’m going to do something that I thought was rather silly
in the past. My practical nature didn’t really think twice about doing
something like getting a vision board. Then I remembered reading this
scripture: “Then the LORD answered me, "Write the vision. Make it clear on
tablets so that anyone can read it quickly.” (Habakkuk 2:2). After years of having several writing goals
that have not seen their full potential, I figure there is no better time than
the present to try something new. I’m learning to listen to that voice deep
inside that says, “Just try it.”” And try I will. No matter what happens, I won’t
have to look back in 20 years and ask, “What if?”
shelliemsaunders.com
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