985 Days

I’ve waited for today for a considerably long time—nearly three years, 985 days to be exact. My anticipation was heightened because this day was actually supposed to come 15 months ago. For each of those 985 days I had one thing on my mind—the finish line. Each month I made a short trek to a familiar office where I got adjustments that put me just a little bit closer to this day. Between visits, I dealt with discomfort that eventually eased as the process continued but inevitably returned when I went for adjustments.

 

For the last year, I’ve gotten my hopes up numerous times, looking for an end date. Last month, I finally got that date—September 12—and I’ve been pretty compliant with my end of the bargain. I’ve followed doctor’s orders and counted down the days. After a setback about a week ago, I was nervous that my end date might get pushed back. I envisioned myself getting bad news at my appointment and jumping on a table yelling, “Just hand me the pliers!”

 

I was so over:

·         metal and ceramic

·         speaking with an occasional lisp

·         biting my cheek

·         flossing with threaders

·         wires that poked

·         sores

·         rubber bands

·         THESE BLASTED BRACES

 

Thank God (and yes I prayed about it) that I finally got my day of freedom.  

 

I’d like you to know that I’m sharing this not just to go on a dramatic rant, but to share what I’ve learned through this experience. Having braces as an adult has taught me:

 

·         The importance of patience

·         To remember that there are many things outside of my control

·         Moving in the right direction often hurts

·         Things don’t always go as you expect them to

·         If you stay on track, you will see the beauty that results from your effort

 

So whatever you are waiting on, hang in there, folks. If you stick to your plan, the end date will come—even if your plan changes.
 

Mama’s signing off and she will enjoy the opportunity to eat a whole apple (no slices) this weekend!

 

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Shellie

 

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Fear Factor Part 3: Regaining Focus

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I wrote this scripture on the board of my daughter’s hospital room a year-and-a-half ago. Day after day, it reminded me of God’s promises. There was a purpose for her life—a blueprint, if you will—that went far beyond what my husband and I could see or imagine. It told me that our micropreemie—weighing less than two pounds—would not only be fine, she would also have a phenomenal story to tell and a long life. I believed that deep in my heart.

For 93 days I read that scripture, recited it aloud and meditated on it. The experience was overwhelming and brought with it complicated machines, regular testing, surgeries, setbacks followed by victories and victories followed by setbacks.  Sometimes leaning on the scripture I mentioned became completely arduous. Our daughter’s time in the hospital became a testimony for what God can do even when circumstances seem bigger than life. Today she is healthy and shows no signs of her difficult beginnings, but there were moments of weakness and weariness in our circumstances that caused us to lose focus on what we believed in.

It is those “moments” that I’d like to explore briefly. At some point in your life, you have probably experienced some sort of distraction that interfered with a goal. Some distractions are unavoidable situations of life. Others are meant for your personal growth …if only you don’t get stuck. It’s easy to get stuck in any number of circumstances. For example you can get:

·         Stuck in not having the money

·         Stuck in not having the time

·         Stuck in not having the courage

·         Stuck in not having the resources

·         Stuck in not having the support

But if there were the chance that you’d get out of that rut that’s trapping you from moving forward, would you? Would you be willing to commit to the focus you lacked or gave up? Would you be willing to believe in a higher plan for your prosperity, hope and future? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then congratulations! You’ve made the first step toward discovering (or rediscovering) your focus.

So what’s my advice? Well, think of this commitment to focus as a road trip. Know your starting point and your end point. Know when it’s time to gas up and eat. Know what you need to take with you and who should be riding shotgun. Decide where you will stop along the way and set a time for getting back on the road. And oh yeah, don’t spend time looking in the rear view mirror. You can’t make the trip if you’re constantly looking at what you left so long ago.

 

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Fear Factor Part 2: Failing Up

I had an epiphany. I realized that we are brought up to fear failure. In part, I believe that our perceptions of failure are shaped in the same place we learn reading, writing and arithmetic. Schools help establish our learning patterns and set a standard for achievement that we carry with us well into adulthood, far beyond our academic days.

Consider the five-point grading scale that is used by most of America’s schools. It may vary from location to location but is nearly identical to this model:

A=Excellent

B=Good
C=Average
D=Poor
F=Failing

The range varies by school and school system, but an A (including A plus and A minus) may be awarded for performance that is ranked between 90 and 100 percent. Grades B, C and D also have their ranges. When you think about it, only one grade provides no variation in the degree of achievement. When an F is earned, there is no range and no need for debate—you’ve failed and you know it.

The F—the granddaddy of bad grades—was like the bogeyman when I was growing up. I heard other kids talk about it, and I even knew the boy who was rumored to earn it regularly, but I never saw it for myself. I wanted desperately to ensure that I never did see it. Like a comic book villain, the F lurks in classroom hallways, dripping beads of scarlet sweat, carrying the stench of permanent marker and waiting to be unfurled on its next victim. Though it is not called in to work as much as its more noteworthy colleagues like the grades A and B and even the mediocre C, the F is more intimidating than its associates and always carries the shock factor. With each appearance, it shows up to rob children of their self-confidence, shame them for their lack of preparation and shout that they’re dumb.

This grading scale reinforces the notion that failure is the polar opposite of success. When we grow up, we carry our sensitivity about the scale into our jobs. We are outraged when our boss completes a performance review and includes a ranking that we are certain does not align with our performance. We rate everything from looks, to books to movies. So what happens when we set a goal and don’t get the result we hope for? We think about those rating scales and are stung all over again with the stigma carried from our school days.

What would happen if we started to think of failure not as the opposite of success but as the result of not trying? What if failure were not final but merely a step on the road to achievement? This way of thinking is new to me, although Thomas Edison understood it years ago. He said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” What a concept! To find 10,000 ways that do not work to uncover one or two that do—and to experience each failure as a step toward success. How many of us have a fraction of that drive when it comes to our dreams?

If you are not where you want to be in a particular area of learning or achievement, why not start to set some clear goals and objectives? When I decided that there were several scenes of my book that could be improved, I took an online writing class and committed to making those scenes more engaging. It was a small step that made a big difference in the final product.  

If you feel that something bigger than you is trapped inside of you, I encourage you to rethink failure. Prepare for 10,000 ways. Who knows? Even if you end up with a different outcome than the one you hoped for, your path may lead you to something you'd never imagined you could achieve! 

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The Best Writing Advice Ever

I’ve read many books on writing during my journey to becoming an author, but there is one that really reached me—“Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott. I actually read it for a writing class in grad school and I had no idea it would become one of my top 10 favorite books. In “Bird by Bird,” Lamott gives a close-up view of the writing process and all of the bumps and bruises that come along with it. It chips away at any false perceptions that glamorize writing and gets right to the point on issues like finding your own voice, creating better dialog and even using writing to become a better reader. Bonus: The book is funny!

For me, the most spectacular thing about this book is a single quote. The quote is not actually by Lamott herself, but by acclaimed author E. L. Doctorow. It’s marked in my copy of the book—dog-eared on p. 18 and highlighted in faded green ink: “E.L. Doctorow once said that ‘writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.’”

When I read it, it was as if the clouds parted and the angels emerged wearing flowing white garments, playing enchanting melodies on stately golden harps. Well, maybe the experience was not that dramatic, but it did produce an epiphany. This quote confirmed that my process wasn’t as haphazard as I thought. Maybe I was closer to the habits of many successful writers who’d already broken through the barriers of rejection and struggle. It was okay that I didn’t know the outcome of every scene, let alone the ending of Broken Vessels. I was no longer uncomfortable in sharing the fact that, from the beginning, I had dumped the traditional approach (screw the rigid outline) and was letting the story unfold as the characters led me.

So now you know the writing quote that keeps me going. And it will continue to guide me…as long as I’ve turned on the headlights.

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Only in the D

 

I used to have a favorite pair of shoes—black leather Anne Klein flats with a rubber sole and white piping. They were not cute by current measures, and are laughable in comparison to several pair of five-inch stilettos that fall into my “two-hour shoes” category because I simply can't wear them for long with these flat feet. The leather flats were the most comfortable pair of shoes I’ve ever owned. I developed a love for the rubber-soled “grandma shoes”—as my then-fiancé dubbed them—that were easy, reliable and comfy. When the soles started to wear out, I got rid of them. But much to the chagrin of my now-husband, I went back to DSW and bought another pair. I’m actually on my third pair now, and though I don’t wear them as frequently as I used to, they are still my official go-to comfy shoe.

Much like those shoes, making Detroit the setting for Broken Vessels just felt right. The decision was second nature. My parents moved to Detroit when I was one year old and later moved just outside the city limits, where I grew up. When I graduated from high school, I was anxious to head to an out-of-state college, but after earning my degree, metro Detroit called me back home. Not only is Detroit home, it is familiar. Not only is Detroit misunderstood, it deserves a positive spotlight.

There are so many unique things about the city. Everyone from this area knows that the six degrees of separation notion is blown to smithereens in metro Detroit. Here, there are more like three degrees of separation. Detroit is the largest city I know of that has a hometown feel when it comes to the social scene. People travel in the same circles, support the same events and network with the same folks. This is what makes the run-ins between Trinity (Broken Vessels’ protagonist) and Tony (Broken Vessels’ antagonist) so realistic.

Aside from the social aspect, there are historic communities like Boston Edison (where my great uncle once lived), North Rosedale Park, Corktown and Indian Village. Each offers a fascinating glimpse into the past with turn-of-the-twentieth-century architecture by distinguished designers like Frank Lloyd Wright and Albert Kahn, long before the popularization of cookie-cutter neighborhoods.

Detroit is also a sleeper town of the arts—whether you're talking about the Detroit Institute of Arts, the Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History (the largest institution of its kind in the world), the Motown Museum or even the beloved and now partially destroyed Heidelberg Project, which has as many fans attesting to its artistic expression as critics calling it a wretched eyesore.

Detroit has seen more ups and down than a yo-yo—with recent woes like being put under the advisement of an emergency financial manager and losing 25 percent of its population in a decade. While the issues of the last 10 years center on political corruption, money mismanagement and the short-lived collapse of the autos, there is a black eye on the city from days past that has yet to heal. Few will argue with the statement that Detroit has never recovered from the 1967 race riots that left 43 people dead, 467 people injured, 7,200 people arrested and more than 2,000 buildings destroyed. Though they were before my time, the riots left behind blighted areas and emotional wounds that still serve as painful reminders of the past.

I believe in Detroit's return to greatness and I know that in order to start a new chapter, we’ve got to look to the future. There are efforts like the Detroit Works Project, which looks at long-term revitalization efforts through land use, economic growth, neighborhood improvement plans, vacant building plans and more. There is a resurgence in downtown Detroit with major corporations like Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, Quicken Loans and Compuware that have left the suburbs to plant roots in the city. And there’s the Woodward Light Rail project, which will connect downtown Detroit to the New Center district along the well-known Woodward Avenue corridor. The light rail is expected to increase accessibility to transportation for those who are living in, working in or visiting Detroit and will increase business for nearby shops and restaurants.

Detroit is a city that has a lived a hard life but is finding its way to renewal, going beyond the automobile industry and venturing into IT, green technology and urban farming. I am excited that I am witnessing these changes and want to capture this transformation through a nontraditional medium—fiction. As a new novelist, I am sharing a side of Detroit that does not often receive media coverage and using writing to help change the negative stereotypes connected to metropolitan Detroit. This was my goal for Broken Vessels and it is my goal for the two remaining books I will write to complete a trilogy—all set in this comfy, worn and familiar place I call Detroit.

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50 Shades of Fiction

When I was inspired to write Broken Vessels, I had no idea where it would fit on the spectrum of genres. I read many articles and books about genre that led me to two conclusions. First, there were many categories I could rule out with little thought. Second, I had created a novel that was a bit of an anomaly.

 

The Easy Part

Eliminating genres like fantasy, suspense thriller and provocative romance was a breeze. Broken Vessels had no misunderstood vampires that were dangerous yet lovable, no creepy minions from the mind of Dean Koontz (my favorite author) and no bondage scenes like those familiar to E L James fans. 

 

The Challenge

The hard part was figuring out how to categorize my novel, which teetered between Christian and inspirational fiction. Broken Vessels tells a story of overcoming adversity, but it’s more Bible-based than inspirational fiction. It is also much edgier than Christian fiction, and goes into details that are generally off limits for the genre.

The Decision

How would I classify Broken Vessels? I knew I could dilute the Biblical message to appease the inspirational market. I could also remove portions of the story line—as well as some of the language—to make it more appealing to the Christian market. I’m sure someone is shaking her head vigorously about the suggestion to conform, but I chose a more daring path: I let the story stand on its own.

 

Yep, I committed what some might call marketing suicide by not making the story more like inspirational fiction or Christian fiction. In fact, there was someone who inspired me to stand my ground on what I’d written and how I’d written it. That “someone” was Trinity Porter—Broken Vessels’ protagonist. It’s Trinity’s own relatable and secretly flawed nature that reminded me of her ability to reach people right where they are. There was something about her that everyone could relate to no matter age, race, nationality or sex. There was something about Trinity that reminded everyone of himself or herself, whether it was her life experiences or her private, inward thoughts. If I changed the book to suit a genre, I’d be doing Trinity—and the other characters—an injustice.

 

The biggest test of my decision lies in the hands of the readers. They are the ones who will decide if the story resonates with them or falls flat. My goal was to make people burst into laughter and wipe away tears and I’m elated to find that’s exactly what some readers have done, as they’ve shared with me in person, on Facebook, on e-mail and on Amazon.com reviews. I hope that others who read Broken Vessels have similar experiences. I look forward to hearing your own feedback.

 

For the record, I’m classifying Broken Vessels as “Chrinspirational fiction,” and, yes, that is one word that will likely never catch on in the writing world. But no matter how anyone chooses to label Broken Vessels, I hope Trinity Porter’s story shows everyone that it’s not the destination, but the journey—be it gritty, uncomfortable, colorful or mind-blowing—that makes us who we are.

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Campaign Kickoff: "A Time to Build"

When I was at church yesterday, the pastor said “God gives you authority over your season.” That really resonated with me for a couple of reasons. First, my favorite scripture is Ecclesiastes 3 regarding A Time for Everything. Second, I believe that this is my “time to build up” in my writing career. So I am stepping out on faith and asking you to help me build awareness of Broken Vessels by purchasing it on April 2 from Amazon.com. This is an effort to break Amazon’s Top 100 list for that day.

Please join my "A Time to Build" campaign by buying the book on April 2 and spreading the word to your friends, family, churches, book clubs, etc. I want this book to be a blessing to others, and the only way to do that is to get it out there!

Thanks for your help,

Shellie M. Saunders
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